"It's my democracy and I'm watching it"
How Woman in Politics
are Civilizing Political Dialogue
The not so wild west
Anything goes. Might makes right. Win at all costs. That was the culture of the Wild West…until women came along and changed everything. “Leave your guns at the door,” they’d say. “You can’t talk like that – there are children in the room.” “Where are your manners?” they’d ask. “Manners? Who needs manners?” “We do,” the women asserted. While there were some legendary cowgirls who could raise as big a ruckus as the men folk, women were largely responsible for civilizing the Wild West.
At least that’s what I’m told.
The same thing is happening in politics. It was the men’s domain with an anything goes culture. Might makes right. Win at all costs. But women are changing that. “Leave your guns at the door,” we say, “you can’t talk like that – there are children to be considered.” “Where are your manners?” we ask. “Manners? Who needs manners?” “We do,” we assert. While there are some legendary female politicians who raise as big a ruckus as the men folk, women are in the process of civilizing politics.
At least that’s how it looks to me.
Civilized political dialogue is alive and well in Colorado Springs
I saw it in action last weekend when I spoke at and attended the legislative conference of BPW Colorado – Business and Professional Women.
I spoke about my book Unite and Concur: How to stop arguing and start communicating about politics. I explained how to stand up to political bullies without becoming one. I demonstrated how easy it can be to be goaded into bad behavior. I illustrated how effective it can be to communicate in collaborative ways that don’t trigger reactions. And I emphasized how inclusive language (we, us), is more natural to women than men – although President Obama has been shown to speak more inclusively than most.
I told them how to do it – they showed me what it looks like
Then I got to see this group of women practice what I preached. (I’d love to flatter myself and say they couldn’t have done it without me, but I believe this group of women could have done ANYTHING with or without me.) After I spoke, researcher Amy Blackwell led a discussion about which bills the group would endorse and which they would lobby against. The discussion questions were so insightful, I wrote them down.
- What is the impetus?
- Who does this bill serve?
- What services does this provide?
- Who would provide those services?
- What would the administrative impact on business be?
- Who favors this?
- Who opposes it?
- What unintended consequences would result from this?
- What does this mean in layman’s terms?
The group considered not supporting one bill that they valued because it had little chance of passing – until someone observed that you’ve got to start somewhere, and this would get the legislative ball rolling.
Each discussion led to a vote of what to support and what not to support. They considered the bills from a woman's perspective. The conversation wasn't just bi-partisan - it was non-partisan.
Beyond approving and disapproving legislation – to creating it
Then City Councillor Faith Winter explained how to lobby the state legislature to get a bill passed or killed. I had never imagined there were so many ways to influence public policy. She taught us how to work with our representatives to develop relationships with them, and how to give them the information and support to be able to go to bat for us. She told us what the best times for input were, how to watch a bill move through the legislature to make sure a good bill doesn’t go bad, and how to go beyond supporting or opposing existing legislation and actually get a bill we want introduced. It made me want to initiate a bill just to have the experience.
Light bulbs went on for me. A massage therapist friend of mine was unhappy when a state massage licensing bill turned into a state massage registration bill. I now understood how that happened and how it could have been influenced. I also learned the real intent behind the bill, and that understanding explained a lot.
This is information everyone should have.
A new game in town
My most important and inspiring discovery was that gentle-spirited women are wielding a lot of power in the political arena. None of the women I met looked like tough political players. Yet each one played a powerful game – one where citizens come out the winners.
Why do they do it? Amy Blackwell explained her reasons. She said, “It’s my democracy, and I’m watching it.” Yes, she is. She and her associates are watching it and shaping it and remaking the terrain into one that is supportive of everyone. The wild west of politics is being civilized at last. Thanks ladies. I am honored to be included in that process.
Reprint/Reuse Policy:
You have permission to use any of these articles in your newsletter, publications, or on your web site. Please:
1. Let us know when and how you are using the article via email:
2. If it is a web posting, please link back to this article
3. Place Meryl’s tag line at the end of the article with all her contact information. If on-line, please make certain that her web address links to her site. Thanks!
Tag line
Meryl Runion, Unite and Concur, and Speak Strong (SpeakStrong) provide Power Phrases (PowerPhrases) and other tools to help you improve communication skills at work and at home and in your community.
She is the author of the books Unite and Concur, PowerPhrases!, How to Use PowerPhrases, Perfect Phrases for Managers and Supervisors and How to Say It: Performance Reviews. You can reach her at 719-684-2633 or by email:
Back to
Unite & Concur
Article Index
Unite & Concur Video Introduction
Watch Meryl's
Get Strategic:
Stop arguing
and start communicating
about politics
Audio ♪♫
Listen to Air America
host Richard Greene talking with Meryl
in streaming MP3 audio
