For those who think Democracy should be
a collaborative experience.
November 2, 2009
They who?
You’ll find wisdom in Dan Mulhern’s They Need to fix It blog post. He quotes Michael Jackson saying,
so many people think “they will take care of it,”
and then stunningly asking in two words, “They, who?”
Just like tomorrow is today’s best labor-saving devise, “they” are our greatest scapegoats.
Thank goodness for those who decide to be “them.”
August 17, 2009Communication step one – stay calm
Dan Mulman is a voice of reason in a world that needs it very much. He uses an example that is familiar to many of us – delayed flights – to illustrate the destructive effect of verbal hysteria on problem solving. You can read him here:
http://www.danmulhern.com/wordpress/2009/08/at-the-boarding-counter-panic-and-abundance/
July 29, 2009Political PowerPhrase: Let’s look at the actual text
What do you say when someone goes on a rant about a potential bill that is more based on fear and manipulation than it is on fact?
My reader Lee sent this in.
Friends and relatives have been emailing me frantic rants describing the impending horrors that will fall on all of us as soon as “Obama’s healthcare” reform legislation passes.
I reply by asking that we “look at the actual text” of the draft bills being considered, and include a link to the text.
I then go into a detailed and specific fact-based analysis of their concerns, based on what the draft bill actually says, rather than the hyperbole and demagoguery surrounding it.
Even if Lee gets no takers, I read this as a success story because it shifts the dialogue away from fear mongering, even if it doesn’t move it into factual considerations.
For more Political PowerPhrases, get my eBook Unite and Concur: How to stop arguing and start talking about politics.
May 20, 2009Inclusive prom policy – or over-protective?
The Detective Mom posted a thought-provoking article about protecting kids from disappointment. She asked whether we want to go as far as one school did to keep kids from feeling left out. They selected prom dates by lottery.
On the face of it, the approach sounds overly protective. And blogger Kris Porotsky talks about how disappointment can build character.
However, a closer look leads me to believe that the school found a way to make the prom more inclusive. They found a way to add to the sesne fo commuity. The found a way to turn an event that can be divisive into a uniuted experience.
If all dates were selected by lottery, I’d object. This approach strikes me as having many unifying side benefits. Read Kris’s post and the article and tell me what you think.
February 5, 2009Women in politics ~ a more collaborative approach
My Unite and Concur eBook and keynotes are all about how to stop arguing and start communicating about politics. They describe a type of communication that is more natural to one half of our population than the other half. I’m talking about women.
There are three main centers of power in communication – might, heart and reason. While we each use all three centers to some extent, we also have our own strengths and tend to use one center more than the others. We women, (I’m a member of that club) base our interactions from our heart center – the one that seeks to collaborate rather than overpower or intellectualize. That approach uses inclusive language – we, our, us – instead of internal language – me, my and I.
It’s not that we women don’t use logic and logical language, or that we don’t call up our will and stronger language to make a point – we do. We just (generally) use the intellectual center and the power center to support the heart center, not the other way around. We start with heart, apply reason and increase the power if we need to.
Divide and Conquer used to be the law of the political land. But as women are becoming increasingly politically engaged, Unite and Concur is getting a toe hold. When it’s collaboration is practiced with grace and skill, it leaves the political bullies exposed and powerless, because their tactics don’t work any more.
I write more about how women are changing the politcal landscape and what it looks like to Unite and Concur in my new article, It’s My Democracy and I’m Watching it. enjoy it – and comment here. Thanks!
November 6, 2008Quote from Jon Stewart about Obama
“For the first time since I can remember, and this includes the Clintons, somebody is speaking in a manner that matches my sensory perception.”
I agree. I may not agree with all he says, but I don’t get the idea that he’s telling me down is up.
The Obama win is a win for reasonable dialogue
I’m sure most of my readers won’t be surprised to know that I’m happy with the election results. Some of my joy is because I believe this will return us to reasonable dialogue. I’m also happy because Obama speaks to empower citizens.
People come up at the end of my seminars to ask for favors, feeling they’ve been given permission by my SpeakStrong platform. Whether I walk my talk or not, my message inspires them to advocate for their interests. No matter how Obama governs, his platform has awakened a sense of purpose in many citizens. I look forward to logical fallacies being challanged, facts being checked and an emergent language of consensus.
Obama pledged to listen to voices that disagree. He has talked the walk and now we’ll see how he walks the talk. We’ll do that by listening too – and holding him and ourselves to the standard he has set for us.
October 7, 2008Change the subject back
it’s odd to watch pundits ask if political candidates will be able to change the subject of national dialogue as if they have no role in allowing it to happen.
But it’s stranger still when we as citizens, we who have everything to lose and nothing to gain by poliitcal theater and distractions when we face serious real issues, allow our attention to be redirected to some bright shiney object when we have so much we could and should be talking about.
Politicians attempt to talk about what they want to, but we need to keep our conversation focused on what matters to us.
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Related posts which may interest you
- Poison Phrase ~ If you believe that, you’ll believe anything
- Communication Question – talking with your political opposite
- Inclusive prom policy – or over-protective?
- Congressman Lee Hamilton’s advice to the consensus-starved
- Across party lines ~ Al Sharpton and Pat Robertson Unite and Concur on Climate Change
We need another time out
Candidates are not responsible for what their supporters say at campaign events, but they do send a strong message when they allow supporters to advocate violence toward their opposition. If your candidate is letting chants like “kill” and “terrorist” and “B#*&%@” go unchallenged, please call a campaign office to complain.
Rudy Giuliani deomnstrated how to do this in 2006, when a supporter interrupted him to say terrorists reminded him of Democrats. Giuliani stopped and said, “Time out. The other thing we have to learn is that we can’t get into this partisan bickering. The fact is that Republicans and Democrats have the same objectives…. Democrats are loyal Americans. Republicans are loyal Americans. I think we have better answers, but we have to respect each other.”
We all need to call for a time out when the hateful raging goes over the top. And if it’s your onwn candidate you’re challenging, all the better.
Why are you excited about your candidate?
A friend canvasses for her presidential candidate. She told me when people tell her they’re voting for the other candidate, she says,
- I’m excited about my candidate for so many reasons. I’d like to know: why are you excited about yours?
She says people rarely have specific reasons to explain their choice (if they admit to be excited at all.) It gets some to rethink their positions.
Of course, to avoid being a manipulative tactic, my friend needs to be sincere in her questioning and interest. She is.
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